Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
