I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
