It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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