eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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