I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
