Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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