Sry I called you an 8
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize