Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
