yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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