We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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