I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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