Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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