He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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