what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize