Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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