I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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