Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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