This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
