your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
