My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
