Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
