How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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