I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
