At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
