Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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