Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
