Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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