You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
