I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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