his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
