you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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