I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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