Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
