Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
