So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
time to smoke my breakfast
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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