I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
why is half of my head shaved?
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