We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
