If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
