Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
