Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
