i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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