There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
