I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
