My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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