so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
