fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
