Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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