I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
