Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
too bad you live with your parents still
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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