are you still at the devil's house?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
