ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
