the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am available for nakedness
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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