So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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