There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
