I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
