Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
