So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
