this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
