Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
