bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
