All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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