i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
