Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
