I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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