i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
